BECOMING SCARS

The truth is everyone has something they’re healing from each and every day. Others are less expressive, others even take the shape and mold of their pain. Allowing it to mold their decisions, their choices, allowing that pain to make decisions for them and limit how far they can and can’t go, while others allowed the word of God to change them. Today I write this mostly for myself before anyone else because I have let pain and old wounds shape some decisions out of fear of change, out of anxiety but Lord from my heart to your ears and through the sincerity of the tender heart you gave me.

Heal my heart so that I can love you and love others just as you’ve loved me. Heal my heart so that I can preach that you’re closer to the broken hearted and you were my closet friend when I was lonely. When my desires felt liked they overtook me and you sent someone to remind me of just who you are and not I.  For it is Christ who lives within me and not I so I crucify my flesh. Heal my tender heart oh lord and enlarge its tents so that even ad I do your work, ii am a mirror of you.  May they see you and not me.

Heal my heart and teach it to draw boundaries.  Teach it to be yours and yours alone before I meet the one. And until then oh lord it is you and I. And even as my faith prevails I believe that with day my healing has come. That there days when I’ll look back and laugh.

My prayer for everyone who feels like they have a soft heart, maybe too soft. They feel too deeply and in so much quantity. That may your love for God be as deep as the depths of your heart. That may he prepare you and take you deeper. That just as you bare your soul with man who is fleeting? May you learn to bare for I am yours before he who is everlasting. He who is closer than the air that you breathe. That you may learn to surrender yourself to him, to love him deeply. To cherish his precepts. To be so rooted in his word that when the evil day comes, which it will. you’ll remember that part of loving him means allowing him to take you back to the original design with all his intents and purposes. On the very day on which he ordained you in heaven because his word says I knew you before I formed you, i call you by your name.

Do you understand that there is a level of intimacy involved in knowing someone? Not everyone should know you at every level. There is only one person who’ll know you the way the bible says and Abraham knew Sarah and yet the bible tells us he knew you before he formed you meaning there was fellowship there, there was oneness, there was depths of himself with which he formed You and therefore you can’t say it is a mistake that you feel the way you, love the way you do, laugh and care the way that you do because someone has hurt you.  Do not let past experiences mold you. To be honest there are days he writes to me through me and tonight was one of them.

Oh tender heart. You express the compassion Jesus felt each time he was about to heal the sick. Don’t you dare think that’s a mistake! You can’t be a person of power without wanting to experience his love first.  What good are we either way without love?

Oh tender heart, you are not just tender, you’re fierce, you’re brave and you’re courageous for choosing love even after it felt like not this again. What will they say about me, I surely didn’t deserve this. Maybe I was the problem as questions arise from all manner of places. You are brave for choosing love and not fear because perfect love casts out all fear. Oh tender heart you’re large and mighty. Deep and wide and you’re beautiful.  And that in itself is a testimony of God’s goodness.

With Love,

UNATHI DUBE.

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